"I believe that two people are connected at the heart, and it doesn't matter what you do, or who you are or where you live; there are no boundaries or barriers if two people are destined to be together."



Feeling Blue

Well I don’t have much to say. It has been a while since I updated this blog lol. I guess working keeps you pretty busy. Life is the same. Work work work. Not the life I’ve imagine for myself, but I guess it’ll do. I feel like I am trapped for the next three years until I finish paying off my student loans. @_@. I begin to wonder if it was worth it and when I think about it I guess it was.  I had the opportunity to travel to Laos, Thailand, Japan, and various places in the US. I lived by myself in St. Cloud and went off to graduated school in Mankato. How awesome is that? Lol. Definitely worth the experiences. Three years is not bad? At least I hope not.

Anyhow I’ve been working at Wells Fargo for a few months now (many actually) and I haven’t been able to save much. I am a bit disappointed, but it is what it is. My main focus is to pay off my loans and then afterwards I will be able to save more. One step at a time. Life can get tough down the road. Especially when you reach the stage of defining who you are and who you want to be.  

Sometime I think too much. I’ve tried not to think as much these past couple of months, but once in a while it just happens. I’m not sure what I am worry about or why I need to think about it. For example I think about relationship in general: the process of dating, the stage of a relationship, what one should do, what one should expect, etc. When in fact there are no set rules of what a relationship should be like. Most important thing I learned. Every relationship is different. So why worry? Why get so work up? I have no idea.

Anyway moving on. What else. Oh yes I ran out of Laniege Prefect Renew so I ordered some on ebay. Hopefully it should be here within the next couple of weeks. I’ve been with Laniege for two years now, and I like it. I thought about switching over to Shiseido, but their products are so expensive. @_@. Maybe in the next couple of years? LOL.

What is exciting to do? It seems there is nothing exciting to do in town. I thought about applying for a second job. Heck it’s not even to make more income, it’s just to give me something to do. Kill time. LOL. As much as I want to hang out with my b/f every day it’s impossible. I don’t want to become clingy. The one thing I hate the most and beside we are he is busy with work so as am I. I’m in the process of learning how to balance relationship and my life. Researchers mentioned that couples can be in what is known as “the honeymoon stage” from 3 months to 2 years. Two years honeymoon stage. Wow. From there you move on to the Power Struggle Stage where you're both trying to establish your identity. Then the Stability stages settles into your relationship after you’ve worked through establishing roles and independence, you begin to find peace and a rhythm within the relationship. In which it will lead to the commitment stage. They’ve seen the other person at their very best and total worst, but still continue to love, respect and crave the other person’s company. At this point, couples may consider making this relationship permanent either through marriage or other formal commitment. Of course different researches have different theory this being one of them.

Pretty interesting huh. Haha. Give or take.

Life is simple if we make it. It can only be simple if we don’t let things easily affect us. Sometime some things are impossible to control.

How Are You?

Run

Run - Leona Lewis

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

Unlove Me

I was surffing on Youtube the other day and stumble upon Leona Lewis 2012 ablum. She has quite a few good songs and Im addicted to "Unlove Me", "Run" and "Lovebirds". ^_^

"Unlove Me" - Leona Lewis

Waiting, sitting in the front seat,
Which one of us will be
The first one to leave?

Empty, out of words,
We’re spinning, going in circles.
Why we won’t let this die?

It doesn’t matter
All the times you broke my heart
When I’m alone
Wish you’d be with me in the dark,
But when you’re here you know
We always fall apart,
We’re better off on our own.

Wish I could tell you goodbye,
But I won’t, ‘cause every time that I try
I can’t let go, I’m begging you to
Un love me, un love me, un love me.
‘cause I can’t un love you.

Forcing, even though we’re broken,
We keep holding on to these
Distant memories.

And now you know I saw those pictures on your phone
And you don’t even bother ask me where I go
When I don’t make it home
Now everybody knows we’re better off on our own.

Wish I could tell you goodbye,
But I won’t, ‘cause every time that I try
I can’t let go, I’m begging you to
Un love me, un love me, un love me.
‘cause I
Now I sure wanna be free,
But I don’t, ‘cause I still wanna believe you’re the one.
I’m begging you to un love me, un love me, un love me,
‘cause I can’t un love you.

I can’t un love you, I, I can’t un love you,
I can’t un love you, I, I can’t un love you,
I can’t un love you, I, I can’t un love you,
I can’t un love you, I…

Wish I could say you goodbye,
‘cause every time that I try
I’m begging you to un love me, un love me, un love me,
‘cause now you now I sure wanna be free.
But I don’t, ‘cause I still wanna believe you’re the one.
I’m begging you to un love me, un love me, un love me,
‘cause I can’t un love you.

I can’t un love you, I, I can’t un love you,
I can’t un love you, I, I can’t un love you,
I can’t un love you, I, I can’t un love you,
I can’t un love you,
‘cause I can’t un love you

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/l/leona_lewis/

Pink - Just Give Me A Reason

Right from the start, you were a thief,
You stole my heart and
I your willing victim
I let you see the parts of me
That weren't all that pretty.
And with every touch
You fixed them.
Now, you've been talking in your sleep
Oh oh, things you never say to ME
Oh oh, tell me that you've had enough
Of out Love, our Love.

Just give me a reason,
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second, we're not broken
Just bent we can learn to LOVE again.
Oh, it's in the stars,
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
We're NOT broken
Just bent we can learn to love again.

I'm sorry I don't understand where
All of these is coming from.
I thought that we were fine,
(Oh, we had everything)
Your head is running wild again
My dear, WE still have everything
And it's all in your MIND.
(Yeah, but this is happenin')
You've been having real bad dreams
Oh oh, used to lie so close to me
Oh oh, there's nothing more than empty sheets
Between our love, our love
Ooooh, our love, our love.

Just give me a reason,
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second, we're not broken
Just bent we can learn to LOVE again.
Oh, I never stopped
It's still written in the scars on my heart
You're NOT broken
Just bent and we can learn to love again.

Oh, tear ducts and rust
I'll fix it for us
We're collecting dust,
But our love's enough.
You're holding it in,
You're pouring a drink
No, nothing is as bad as it seems.
We'll come clean!

Just give me a reason,
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second, we're not broken
Just bent and we can learn to LOVE again.
Oh, it's in the stars
It's still written in the scars on our hearts
We're NOT broken
Just bent and we can learn to love again.


Just give me a reason,
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second, we're not broken
Just bent and we can learn to LOVE again.
Oh, it's in the stars
It's still written in the scars on our hearts
We're NOT broken
Just bent and we can learn to love again.

Ooh, we can learn to love again
Ooh, we can learn to love again
Oh, that we're not broken
Just bent and we can learn to love again

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/p/pink/

One Interesting Year

I’ve been so busy with work; I don’t have time to update this blog as much as I want to. I would write about my life every day, but then it would be boring. Every day is pretty much work-work Monday through Friday. The free time I have is during the weekends. I don’t babysit as much as before. ^^ As I told my friend, this year has been one hella interesting year. At the beginning of the year I was in Kland and decided to turn in my resignation letter to return home. My co-teacher gave me hell afterwards. It was tough. 

When I came back to the States, I felt relieve. Happy to see my friends and family again. Then depression kicks in when I couldn’t find a job. The summer was spent at the market helping my parents and babysitting my sister’s kids. I was beginning to lose hope that I may never find a job especially during this economy. Depression is not a good sign. You lose hope, will, and determine. Anyhow, by the end of October (with the help and support of my family and friends) I decided to try again and find a job through a temporary agency. With the help of the job agency I found a job at Wells Fargo. The job is not great but it’s not so bad either. I viewed it as taking a slow step to where I want to go in the long run. Work started out really well. I am working. ^^ I got to know a few of the co-workers there. 

A male co-worker and I started out really well. We clicked and have things in commons, which is nice. And I guess before I know it I was beginning to feel something I haven’t felt in a long time. Nope no butterfly. Haha. I guess butterfly days are over. I did however, felt something in my heart. I’m not sure if I like it. I don’t like what it makes me feel. Anxious. Excited. Eager. It’s like a ache in my heart. Ugh. Unpleasant feeling in my opinion. Anyway, moving on. It stopped aching the day we decided to become involved aka in a “relationship”. Now I’m feeling fine. I feel good. Happy to text him on and off and see what’s he is up to. So what does that mean? Desire conquered and no longer needed???? Oh man. I am so confuse. And confuse I don’t like. I tried to use logic to solve this ache in my heart, no solution came up. @_@

Pink - Try

Omg. I have Pink’s song called “Try” stuck in my head. Hahaha. Such a good song. Here is the lyric below. I am even singing along. Lol.

Ever wonder about what he's doing How it all turned to lies
Sometimes I think that it's better to never ask why
Where there is desire There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone's bound to get burned
 But just because it burns
Doesn't mean you're gonna die
You've gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try You gotta get up and try try try

Eh, eh, eh

Funny how the heart can be deceiving
More than just a couple times
Why do we fall in love so easy
Even when it's not right

Where there is desire
 There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone's bound to get burned
But just because it burns

Doesn't mean you're gonna die
You've gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try
You gotta get up and try try try
Ever worried that it might be ruined
And does it make you wanna cry?
When you're out there doing what you're doing
Are you just getting by?
Tell me are you just getting by by by

Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone's bound to get burned
But just because it burns D
oesn't mean you're gonna die
You've gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try
You gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try

You gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try
You gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try